Starting a new series for the summer: Saying Goodbye to the Baby Stage. There’s no better way to kick it off than by sharing the BEST mom advice I’ve ever gotten.
It was magic.
It had been a long day after a string of long days and, while it didn’t change any of that, it was one of those moments that whispered to me “remember this.” I’ve found that more and more I’m reaching toward those moments, trying to drink in the way that his legs don’t quite wrap all the way around my waist and the soft spot under his cheeks that I kiss 20,000 times a day, and the way he shouts “I WUFF YOU!” even more times from his bed.
The days are long, but the years are short, and those moments make me want to brush the dusty parts of the day away and hold onto the magical parts that make people stop you in the grocery store to say “someday you’ll miss this.”
So over the summer, I thought I’d say an official goodbye to the baby stage. The first thing I want to share is the best mom advice I’ve ever gotten. It was from Amy Poehler. Really. And it was like a light bulb for me. Are you ready?
Good for you, not for me.
Simple, isn’t it? It’s the phrase that cuts through jealousy or feelings of “less than” in a hot second. It’s the most freeing, peaceful, self-affirming sentiment I can share with anyone. No matter what the issue is…
- Co-sleeping or sleep training
- Epidural or unmedicated birth
- Disposable diapers vs. cloth diapers
- Tight schedules vs. spontaneity
- Store-bought purees or baby-led weaning
- Public school or private school or homeschool
Whatever it is. If your friend’s 13 month old is a vegan potty-trained bilingual cellist? Good for you, not for me. If your sister co-sleeps with her four children, but you sleep trained your baby? Good for you, not for me. There is no perfect way to be a perfect parent but there are a million ways to be a good one. Letting go of what any book or friend or well-meaning stranger at the grocery store had to say about my parenting let me just do what was right for us. And that was majorly freeing.
It was one of the only things that went really, really smoothly with Sophie’s first year. She nursed faster than any other child I’ve ever heard of. She intuitively knew how to latch well from the very first attempt at nursing. I never had trouble with my milk supply (she was actually so chubby that people teased me that I was feeding her cream). It was everything I thought it “should” be.
Armed with “good for you, not for me” mentality, I could hear them, even thank them for their concern or suggestions and do what was best for me, whether that happens to be the same thing they’re doing or something completely different. And you know what? Bottle feeding Milo was the right decision for us just as breast feeding Sophie was the right decision for us.
There were some AWESOME, amazing things about bottle feeding. I was free from the stress about my non-existent milk supply, Michael could feed Milo when I needed him to (meaning we could even take turns getting up in the night), and I could know just how much Milo was eating at any given feeding.
The experience was so different from my nursing experience with Sophie’s, but I bonded and was close with both babies. I had the physical energy I needed to go through such a difficult year with very little support, and Milo’s arm and leg rolls never suffered, which made my mama heart happy.
What’s YOUR favorite piece of parenting advice?
Any words of wisdom to share? I’d love to hear them!
This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Kroger. The opinions and text are all mine.