1. Michael took the kids to an adaptive adventure day last weekend for children with special needs and their families. It was amazing. There were pony rides, face painting, games, crafts, and volunteers with loads of different specialties. Everyone they met or talked to was kind, understanding, gentle, and helpful. Michael said of the experience “my faith in humanity is restored again.” There are so many great people who helped by donating time, materials, experience, or their presence to this event, and we hope that in future years we can volunteer at something like this.
2. This week, we checked off several different 101 Things to Do in 1001 Days list items. We made the Gluten-Free Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day recipe. I was very impressed by the recipe, though I still need to make it a few more times before I get the technique down. Gluten free bread baking is SO different from wheat flour baking! I also finished my Photo 101 class, AND WE PAID OFF OUR CAR!!! It’s been a hard row to hoe to get Josefin (our car’s name) paid off while we’re in school. We have absolutely needed that car and loved it, but we’re so happy and relieved to be DONE paying it off. Thank you tax return and thank you Michael who files our taxes in February!
3. We also crossed off #13: Try homemade play dough. We used this recipe from Modern Parents Messy Kids that uses Jell-o of all things. We made it gluten free by subbing 1/2 cornstarch and 1/2 rice flour for the wheat flour. So far, it’s held up beautifully–a full week without getting dried out or funky. We’ll toss it later today to be on the safe side, but I was very impressed. So were Sophie and Milo.
4. Sophie is signed up for her first dance class! I’m unbelievably excited about it. I really think she’s going to love it. I have my fingers and heart crossed that her teacher will be kind and understanding. I also hope that she LOVES it. I can’t wait to buy a leotard, tutu, and ballet shoes. Anyone have favorites?
5. Oh, the twos. Milo has had a ROUGH case of the twos the last few weeks. I feel like I’m at my wits’ end of ideas for ways to help him. We are consistent and firm in the boundaries we set, we try to provide him lots of loving attention and positive reinforcement for his good behaviors, and get him to release as much physical energy as possible throughout the day by playing outside or going to the park.
But we also can’t seem to find anything that helps us get through to him. As much as I’d like to ignore his negative behaviors (so as not to reward them with attention) or let natural consequences follow, most of the things he’s doing are NOT things we can ignore or allow natural consequences to follow (like smacking Sophie over the head with a block) or pulling on electrical cords. I feel my patience wearing t-h-i-n and my usual sanity standbys (going on walks, praying, playing soft music, etc.) are *not* doing the job. Mamas, what do you have for me? What’s helped you?
I’m so excited for Sophie to start dance class! I’m sure she will love it! Bridget has been doing dance since last September, and I refuse to buy anything new. I feel like it is very overpriced for the amount of time they will actually spend using/wearing it. If you have a used children’s clothing store I would check there first. That is where we got her ballet and tap shoes and all her leotards. Or ask a friend if they have old ones you can borrow! Good luck!
Well we are soooo happy and jealous your car is paid off!!! High five from us (we’re almost there too :))
As far as dance stuff goes. I am all for inexpensive, especially at this age when they grow out of it before they wear it out (if she sticks with it, it will definitely get more expensive. Mostly in regards to the shoes). Payless has nice leather like ballet shoes in black and pink that hold up well. I believe in the $20 price range. I’d stick with those and not get canvas unless the teacher is specific, so I’d ask her teacher first. The canvas ones get dirty and wear out MUCH quicker. Leotards and tights and skirts can all be found inexpensively at target and walmart.
For the two’s, I have no magic answer. I am in the battle field fighting that war too. It is rough . just keep swimming!
Haha Josefin! That sounds like Michael.
As far as parenting a two year old goes, I’m terrible at it but my mom teaches parenting classes regularly so I’m always calling her. She teaches from Christ-like Parenting, What’s a Parent to Do, and The Power of Positive Parenting, all by Glenn Latham. Sounds like you do most of it already, but I would suggest trying to role play with Milo in a quiet, calm moment (not connected to the misbehavior) what kind of behavior you expect (playing nicely with Sophie without hitting, etc.) and then have him state what you expect. Then try and catch him doing it and praise praise praise. Then, if needed, do it again but attach a consequence. Use whatever is his “currency,” perhaps trucks? If he hits Sophie, he loses the privilege of playing with trucks for that day or however long (very important wording, lose the privilege). Good luck mama!
I think the brand of ballet slippers we got me most often growing up was Capezio. I think they run around $20 for children’s sizes and are leather which I always preferred, both because they looked fancier and more like “real” ballet slippers to me, and also because the leather was so nice and soft and formed comfortably to my foot shape.
As far as the terrible twos stuff goes, you may already be doing all this, but I’ve found that if I watch my inner dialogue it helps me stay a little more calm. When a tantrum or problem starts, rather than thinking “here we go again” or “he always does this!” I try to think things more like “what can I do to make this easier on us both?” or “what is he needing right now?” Sometimes it helps. From your examples it looks like Milo is really into cause and effect right now (he is two, after all). Maybe when he’s misbehaving rather than saying things like “your behavior is inappropriate” which is a natural reaction, you could point out to him “the way you’re acting won’t get you what you want,” and just keep trying to point out the cause and effect nature of his actions. Hang in there. It might feel like nothing is getting through, but it will eventually if you stick with it. You are doing great. 🙂
I just gotta say… Telling your kids “the way you’re acting isn’t going to get you what your want” is GOLD. You young mama’s, tuck that in your cap. It’s good for terrible twos and terrifying teens and everything in between.
I miss Sophie and Milo and Emily and Michael!!!!!
In those behavior moments, I’m noticing its always triggered by hunger. Usually I will offer a pickle (current fave for my kid) or pull out one of his books and sit down to read it, and he quickly joins me. Then maybe after he’s calm have a talk and explain why we shouldn’t do the behavior (Sophie could get hurt, or you could get shocked and have to go do the hospital). I don’t know. I’m dreading tantrums and the terrible twos.
I love these posts most of all, your peanuts are just the cutest. Milo being a stinker right now just makes me love him even more. I can only imagine how much it wears on you, but just remember that you are a wonderful mother and wife. I’ll say a few long distance prayers for patience and calm and nice weather so you guys can play outside. 🙂
THANK YOU friend!!!
I’ve gotta say that I love the advice of saying, “the way you’re acting isn’t going to get you what your want”. I wish I’d known that when I was in the middle of that battle. I love that you are working to remain calm and neutral instead of shrieking – even if it’s only on the outside. That shows that you are able to master yourself in a remarkable way. Which will give you the ‘moral authority’ to help your children grow into being able to master themselves. And, remembering that it’s taken you a lifetime of working on that skill, can help you continue to be patient as your children are also learning and practicing how to master themselves. It’s just plain hard, and many people never learn how to do it!
I’m horraying for you!
As a school teacher (even though the students are older), I find offering several choices sometimes gives kids the “control” they are looking for in a situation. This sometimes makes it seem less like a tug of war and more like processing the situation.