And just like that, Milo turned one.
What a year of world-upside-down-ness, learning and growing, changing, adapting, re-thinking, letting go, and starting over it has been!
Never in my life have I felt that God wanted something so much for me as when Michael and I decided to have a second baby. It wasn’t the timing we’d been planning on, but looking back… had we waited for the time we thought was right, Milo may never have come to us. Out of nowhere, we had the same feeling at the same time. It’s time. Now. Don’t wait. So, we stepped out into the darkness of the unknown and got pregnant right when Sophie turned one. Again, had we waited, I’m sorry to say I think I’d have been too scared to have a second baby for a very long time, if at all. During her second year, it became clear that Sophie wasn’t just developing at her own pace, but that there were true and present delays, her sensory issues became more pronounced, and her smiles, laughs, and social interaction started slipping away. Autism became real, and she was diagnosed right after Milo was born, before I’d even really healed from having a new baby or gotten into a two-baby routine.
Milo is, in many ways, a miracle. As all babies are. People tell me I’m crazy all the time when they find out how close in age Sophie and Milo are. And, between the hours of 3-7pm every day, I often feel the same way. But this boy–this sunshiney, squishy, sweet hearted boy–is just what we needed. And for our family, it really was the right choice.
Milo means peaceful, merciful, gracious, and generous. He has completely lived up to his name. He’s easy going when we need him to be. So long as he’s squished, smiled at regularly, and snuggled, he’s a pretty happy little boy. He forgives nearly instantly, is patient about never really getting to have my full attention, and quietly wants to be right in the middle of everyone and everything.
A few things about this boy at one:
We’ve started calling Milo “me too.” as in… “Oh, what are you doing? Because that’s exactly what I need to be doing. Right now. This very instant.” or “Oh, Sophie? You’re eating a snack that is far and away above what my level of chewing and swallowing can handle? I need some of that posthaste!” or “Um, Soph? You’re in the middle of (insert type of therapy here)? I think I need to participate too. Right now. Immediately. Without delay.”
He adores Sophie. Absolutely wholeheartedly loves her. It took her 11 full months to accept him into our family. To allow him to be near her without running away or aggressing toward him. During each of those 11 months, no matter how she responded to him, he continued to love her, to smile, to continue to follow her, to try to snuggle her, to play with her. She could kick him square in the face, and after a quick second of mama-comfort, he’d scoot right back over to her with a smile on his face. Over and over again, every single day.
He has music in his soul. He hears a beat and starts bobbing and dancing right away. It can be banging on pots and pans, or dance tunes. It’s all the same. He’s just got to move. Here’s hoping he’s a better dancer than I am.
He’ll try almost anything once. Especially when it comes to food, he’s pretty adventurous at the moment. Sophie was at his age too, so it made fade with time as he approaches 2, but for now, you can hand him beans and rice, or stir-fry, or pickles, or steamed broccoli, or curry, or cut up meatloves, and he’ll give them a fair try before deciding what he does and doesn’t like. That said, he goes through quick jags, loving something for a week or two, then not wanting to see it again for a while.
He hates (H-A-T-E-S) being restrained in any way at all. Whether that’s a car seat (hate hate hates the car), or laying down for a diaper change, boyfriend hates when you try to corral him. I credit this fact for his adamant hatred of pants, or “leg shackles,” as Michael calls them.
He cuddles. I needed this in my life. I was a super-snuggler (always have been), and it was something I really, really hoped for this second go round. He’s especially attached to me, which can be hard sometimes, but in the moments I allow myself to just enjoy the cuddles, it’s heavenly. His rolls, kissable cheeks, and love of fluffy blankets makes this even better. Seriously, if there’s a fluffy blanket around, he will mush his face in it and roll over like a puppy, happy as can be.
He has a boy-ish sense of adventure. He’s not afraid of water (even at the splash pad), he’ll push or pull anything that he can convince to move (you know… chairs, strollers, play kitchens), and he loves climbing. I have a strong feeling he’ll be getting into some trouble over the next few years, still it’s fun to watch him explore and grow and change.
I could list a thousand more things, like he has the longest eyelashes, wants to eat all the things, or has an affinity for pulling ears and hair. But mostly, I just want to say that I love him. Milo is such a sweet, spunky, tenacious little muffin. I’m so glad he’s here. Like almost any parent, I’m sorry I don’t have more energy, attention, or one-on-one time to give him, but I love him. I’m grateful for his patience with my shortcomings, with a sister who has extra needs, and with almost anything life throws at him. I see in him so much goodness and light. When I think about what the future looks like for this boy, I often have the small whispers of doubt (How will he ever feel like he gets a fair share of time and attention? Does he know how much I love him?). But I also have dreams of him continuing to be the loving, caring boy he is. That he’ll keep learning, exploring, growing. That he’ll continue to love and protect a sister who needs him, and that he’ll become the great man I know he can be.
Love you, Milo. Happy birthday, sweetest boy.
Alyssa Paul says
January 10, 2014 at 6:42 amThis made me all teary. The Lord’s timing is amazing and I’m so glad you listened. He seems like the sweetest boy ever and exactly what our family needs. Happy 1 year Milo!!
And a random question… What is that black band you’re wearing on your wrist in some pictures?
emily says
January 10, 2014 at 6:49 amAlyssa – It’s a Nike Fuelband. I really loved it. It just died, so I’ve been without a new one, but I really liked it while it lasted!
Alyssa Paul says
January 10, 2014 at 11:20 amAwesome! I’ll have to look that up!
Ashley @ Coffee & Macarons says
January 10, 2014 at 7:11 amI can’t get over those cheeks! I hope those stay as long as possible for you. 🙂
Katie Carter says
January 10, 2014 at 7:24 amShooooot – teary before 7:30a… That’s a new record! What an amazing boy! I don’t think it’s possible for this Aunt to love him anymore than I do! The week we got of his smiles and rolls was definitely not enough! I miss him, and you guys like crazy and can’t wait to squish
him again!
Joanie Dixon says
January 10, 2014 at 9:02 amThis is so sweet & put a smile on my face! I know we’ve only met once at a family bbq, but from what I can tell, you really are an amazing women & mother! Milo is the cutest lil boy, well next to my nephew Afton of course! 😉 Both him and Sophie are beautiful little spirits! I love reading your blog & the adventures you have with them, it really makes me want my own family one day soon! 🙂
Jessica says
January 10, 2014 at 9:08 amI especially love how you describe his relationship with Sophie. What a perfect brother for her. Happy birthday!
Melissa says
January 10, 2014 at 10:10 amWhat a sweetie! Happy Birthday Milo! Surely, he was meant for your family at this time.
Anna says
January 10, 2014 at 10:35 amSweet Milo. What a good baby and a good fit for your family. Such a blessing, especially with how he interacts with Sophie.
emily says
January 10, 2014 at 7:15 pmThanks Anna. We love him!
Becky C. says
January 10, 2014 at 11:07 amWhat a beautiful tribute to your son! Happy Birthday, Milo!
emily says
January 10, 2014 at 7:14 pmThank you Becky!
Melissa @ Bless this Mess says
January 10, 2014 at 11:53 amAdorbs! And good for you for writing. When he’s 13 and grumpy maybe you’ll have to make him a book of these posts so that he can see just how much his momma loves him. Treasure is what this is, TREASURE!
emily says
January 10, 2014 at 7:13 pmMelissa – Love that idea!
Momma Lynn says
January 10, 2014 at 12:47 pmWhat a happy, happy day it was, when this little guy entered the world one year ago! He is one glorious baby boy! We can’t get enough, and we miss him and all of you, constantly.
Thank you, Emily, for sharing your journey so publicly and in such a positive, hopeful, and beautiful way!
Emily says
January 10, 2014 at 12:51 pmWhat a precious voice of love to your little boy. I’m not a mother yet, but I LOVE hearing moms/parents express the wonderful, unique details that make their child special, and give you more and more reasons to love the blessing that they are. So glad for the great parents that Sophie and Milo have, and the wonderful treasure they are to you both.
Katie b says
January 10, 2014 at 1:25 pmWhat a perfect little dude. You have the most adorable children, my goodness. I just want to come over to your house and watch them play. Happy birthday, Me Too!
Betsy says
January 10, 2014 at 1:28 pmso beautifully written, you have such a lovely family. Happy birthday to Milo, I hope you are all able to relax and enjoy this weekend.
emily says
January 10, 2014 at 7:12 pmBetsy – Thank you! I hope we get to too!
Nicole says
January 10, 2014 at 1:54 pmWhat a sweet post! He is adorable and the perfect addition to your cute family. Happy birthday Milo!
emily says
January 10, 2014 at 7:12 pmThanks Nicole!
Tara says
January 10, 2014 at 2:03 pmLOVE this!! My Levi came as a MAJOR surprise and so my boys are only 14 months apart- pure chaos to begin with but then add in a struggling autistic child and life is HARD!!! But you are right, if I had left it to my own planning I would’ve been afraid to have another child for a very long time after Ty’s diagnosis. All of his therapists have told us how huge of an advantage it is to have an in-home peer role model for Ty to practice with constantly- and it’s true!! They needed each other and benefit so much for being so close!!! I’m sure it’s the same with Sophie and Milo. I am so grateful everyday for how close my boys are and how good of friends they’ve become. I know I can contribute a part of Ty’s progress to Levi- and that makes everything worth it. Happy Birthday Milo!!!!
emily says
January 10, 2014 at 7:12 pmTara – I’ve been hearing that from therapists lately! I’m hoping that it proves true for us. Thank you for the happy glimpse into what might be!
Becky @ lovetobeinthekitchen says
January 10, 2014 at 4:14 pmHappy Birthday to sweet little Milo! He is such a cutie. I love seeing pictures of him every Five Fact Friday. I am so glad he makes you so happy. Reading this made me teary!
emily says
January 10, 2014 at 7:10 pmThank you Becky!
Ana says
January 13, 2014 at 10:37 amGosh .. I’m tearing up and it’s only Monday.. oh but I am so glad I stopped by to read this to at the start of my week.. May we always be grateful and know that eveything is being guided.
Beautiful post . Happy Birthday to the Boy. and to his lovely Mama. xo
Erica Lea says
January 15, 2014 at 9:34 pmAwww…that bit at the end about him protecting Sophie made me choke up a bit. You are such an amazing mom, Emily! I really enjoy reading about how you guys are getting along. Happy Birthday to Milo! 🙂
Shelley says
January 16, 2014 at 1:18 pmHappy Belated Birthday Mr. Milo! How happy we are to be family.
What a truly lovely post Emily. Reading that makes me think of my own kiddos and their traits that I love (and that i should reflect on more often). Thanks for the reminder to be a better mom today. I needed it 🙂 Love you all so much!